V-Day

7/31/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
Well, V-Day has come and gone and - what the hell - I'll write about it.
I do not mean Victory, Valentine's, Vegas or Viagra. I mean, the day (7 July 2011) when me ol' baby-making equipment was finally Retired In Place. Yes, after a longish career of moderate mischief and a recent turn towards family building, the boys are finally... more or less strictly decorative.

 
Picture
Just a list of things my son says.  He's not a big talker.  That's because he is smart.  Before he could say a single word he had figured it all out:  In the beginning (not too long ago) God made the world, and the world was full of things that were good (or at least seemed interesting, or tasty), but in His trademark mysterious way, He had placed them all out of reach.  That seemed unfair.  But then... aha!  God had cleverly populated the world with an endless supply of adults willing to bend over backwards to reach for the good (interesting or tasty) things, and hand them over to you.  Nice job God!  All you had to do was point at the thing desired then say "mmm?" (meaning "give me that"), or "mmmmm!" (meaning "no, not that, THAT you moron!") or "MMMMM!" (meaning "oh ferchrissake what is taking you so long!").  So... Eventually the kid saw that adults were not that sharp... and words would be needed.

 
Picture
I read this post and it got me to thinking (once again) about the always elusive and controversial trait of manliness (and it's twin sister).

I thought the matter over while I showered (I do take long showers which, come to think of it, may be somewhat unmanly... but this, as will be inconclusively argued below, is probably OK).

 
Picture
It has been several months since I began my flirtations with blogging.  And still it wasn't until last week or so that I began to get it.  
It being the realization that... there is some razor sharp funny smart kick-ass writing going over here (or over there).  Addictively good stuff.

My problem was that I wanted to be a blogger before had become a blog reader.  My bumbling transformation unfolded like this:


 
Picture
Theodore Roosevelt was a dedicated hunter, naturalist, and conservationist (all activities which are importantly tied to dadding... at least my version thereof).  Anyway, I spotted the following quotations inscribed in the walls inside the entrance to the New York National Museum of Science.  Good solid stuff.




 
Picture
It's late and I haven't got the fuel to rant long.  Still, I wanted to scribble down this notion that has been thumb-tacked to the inner wall of my mind for some time:  That the right approach to child-rearing (for those of us not lucky enough to come pre-loaded with answers) is to see our children as scientific experiments.

Now, I am sensitive enough to guess the kinds of reactions that a statement like that will elicit.  For example...

 
Picture
Shown here... a custom-made red, white, and blueberry jellybean that was used as a bribe to get my son in the shower after the beach today.

Custom-made jellybean bribes are a specialty of mine.

 
Picture
Here is a common scene in my house...  A 2-year old politely asks to borrow an iPhone.  An adult obliges.  The 2-year old proceeds to open his favorite application and expertly work through a series of puzzles to the amazement of all present.  He eventually tires and gives the phone back. 

Yeah right! - you say.

OK, alright I admit it.  Its not quite that... bucolic.  I have... misrepresented (a little) and here is the list of my... fibs.